She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
