He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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