It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
my sisters under your porch take her home
handjob tips. give me some.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i out mim tonsoeep
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