are you still at the devil's house?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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