i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
