Just fell off a train. Bad.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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