i just google imaged poop.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
