considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
