I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
