Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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