We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
