So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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