Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
