I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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