Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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