This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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