The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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