I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
