I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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