Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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