he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How's work?
Spinning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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