yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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