Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
