i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
