I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize