doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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