im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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