Just mADE A PArabola og urine
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
