in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
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I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.