...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
