In America we eat man semen.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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