hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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