I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I cut my penus on the lid.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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