Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
