She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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