A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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