Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
