I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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