There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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