So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
