The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
