i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
