So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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