ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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