i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
