The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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