Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so let's talk penis.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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