his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
