Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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