it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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