mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
