He uses pillows to masturbate.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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