smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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