hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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