my vag is so smooth its legendary
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
