i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
two words: eviction party
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
