And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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