Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
