Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
