I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
