OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's like heaven, but drunker
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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