I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize