Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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