The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
