My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my shit smells like andre
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
