In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
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What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'd cum for enchiladas.
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Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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